Wednesday, August 7, 2013

If You Eat Them Hot They Don't Count

We were riding down the road minding our own business when out of nowhere, we were forced to cut across 5 lanes of traffic and almost took out a man on a moped and a flowerbed on Highway 17.  It could not be helped.  The Hot Doughnut Sign was on at the Krispy Kreme.  I believe there are magical powers in that sign.  I'm sure if the aliens had powers like that sign they wouldn't be spending all their time showing up to my cousin living in the trailer park who thought he had crop circles in his yard when it was really just four wheeler tracks.  Have mercy!

I even have an app on my phone that let's me know when the sign is on and the doughnuts are hot in North Myrtle Beach.  You can get you an app, too.  It's for free!

My favorite flavor of cold doughnuts are lemon filled followed by blueberry cake.  But, hands down, the best doughnut in the whole entire people and alien universe is a KK hot glazed fresh off the machine original.  People line up to pay their respects to this awesomeness of fresh dough fried in hot grease and bathed in powdered sugar glaze for good reason.

I imagine that there are people living here in the south who have never eaten one or twelve fresh from the fryer, but I don't know who they are.  Just in case it's you, first of all, bless you. Second of all, here are some things you may want to know about these southern delicacies.

1.  Doughnuts eaten hot do not have any calories. They magically dissolve with that first bite.  I believe the most I have ever eaten in one sitting (in the car in the parking lot actually) was 5.  I was going for 6, but  I do have some restraint! Didn't matter though, no calories either way.

2.  Hot doughnuts will take the skin off the roof of your mouth if you are not careful.  Trust me on this one.  The price we have to pay for pleasure sometimes. 

3.  Hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts and the ones they sell in the box on Saturday morning in front of the Wal Mart for fund raisers are not the same thing. If you've never had one hot, call me.  I will be happy to take you. You can taste the difference.

4.  Unless you are under the age of 6, don't wear the hat while you wait in line.  Just don't. 

5.  Even if you like other flavors, if the hot sign is on, you have to get at least part of your dozen hot.  It's against the law if you don't, or if not, it should be.

6.  The sign comes on every night at 6:00 in North Myrtle Beach.  You're welcome.


I have to go.  I just got a notification on my phone that the sign is on.  Maybe I can make it to the beach before it goes off.  I'll meet you in the parking lot and we can enjoy some long as they are HOT!


But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”   Matthew 4:4


Melissa said...

You're gonna think I'm odd, but I actually don't like them hot. I like 'em cold, when the flavors have all had a chance to get settled and the glaze has a fresh crispness (not day old crispness).

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